Suddenly, the memory wins
/This essay is excerpted from “A Gift of Time” which was published in 1991
Wanting a life back
/
“I want my old life back.”
That’s what the woman whispered between sobs.
I heard her, though I was just walking by, walking past, trying not to hear, trying not to look, not to see.
“I want my old life back,” she said again, louder this time, and I stopped walking and looked directly at her, a broken, old woman bent and weeping in a wheelchair.It was a Sunday in February ten years ago and I was at Hollywell Nursing Home in Randolph on a mission looking for help for my own mother, who was not so old but just as broken. I had spent the day visiting nursing homes and even then knew with absolute certainty that this was one of the worst days of my life.
Read MoreVacation on a Houseboat No Picnic
/
So here we are, two adults, three teenagers and one 11-year-old, two days after leaving Boston, finally at Lake Powell, a crowded place, people scurrying from parking lot to marina with coolers and pillows and cartons of food, looking as diligent as a colony of ants. I am astounded by the crowds of people preparing to go out on the lake, lugging radios and rafts and infinite cases of beer down the long incline to load…
Read MoreSoft Suburbanites in the Wild
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"Look out the window. Look at that view. Don't you love all the open space and the huge sky and the mountains in the distance?”
"We've been looking at open space and mountains for hours. Aren't we almost there?" comes the wail from two of the three teenagers in the back seat…
Read MoreWatching children grow up is a bittersweet time
/It is too eerily familiar. The exasperation in her voice. The long sighs. The shifting attitude.
"Do you think this looks nice?" she asked me this morning.
She was scrutinizing herself in the mirror, inspecting her white stretch pants and her extra, extra large white T-shirt that she'd covered with a complimenting white sweat shirt that came to her waist.
Read MoreCollege Freshman as King of the Hill
/He came home for the weekend, the college freshman, carrying his dirty laundry stuffed into a garbage bag. (I've got a present for you, Mom!) the smile on his face so huge and relaxed that, "How's school?" and "How are you doing?" didn't need to be asked…
Read MoreWill someone please pass the pizza
/Fourteen of them arrive at once.
"Yay You have M&M's "
"Can we have something besides pizza? I don't like pizza."
"I like your sweater. Where'd you get it?"
They range in height from 4 feet to 5 feet, in age from 9 to 11.
Read MoreHouse is Hollow When Son Goes to College
/It could be worse. You get into a car accident and the car is totaled, but it could be worse. Someone could have been hurt. When someone is hurt, when an arm's broken or stitches are needed it's still the same. It could be worse. Someone could have died. It's the way we live, rationalizing our lives away…
Read MoreJust around the corner is summer's end
/
"Christmas is around the corner," I overheard my mother tell a friend when I was 4 or 5 and lived in the city.
I raced into the hall and grabbed my red jacket and hurried down three flights of steps out to the sidewalk.
"Don't you go out of the yard," my mother shouted and I yelled, "I won't, Mom" and did, of course, bolting up the street to get to the corner where she said Christmas would be.
Just around the corner is summer's end
/
"Christmas is around the corner," I overheard my mother tell a friend when I was 4 or 5 and lived in the city. I raced into the hall and grabbed my red jacket and hurried down three flights of steps out to the sidewalk. "Don't you go out of the yard," my mother shouted and I yelled, "I won't, Mom" and, of course, did bolting up the street to get to the corner where she said Christmas would be. It wasn't there, of course. No tree. No Santa. No reindeer and sleigh. Just concrete and macadam and three-decker houses lined up on either side. It was my first disappointment with looking around corners.
Read MoreFear must not erode our humanity
/
In the town where I grew up in the 1960s, there was a priest, a young, energetic, dedicated man who embraced God and the church with a passion I will never forget. Every mass seemed a high mass when he celebrated it; every prayer, every blessing seemed a promise. Words diminish whatever it was he brought to the altar with him. And yet I have never found in any other church what I found in my youth in this man's presence.
Read MoreReal friendship can validate our lives
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I wanted to be Rosemary's friend from the moment I met her. I was 7 years old, the new girl in class, and Rosemary already had a best friend, Jean Sullivan, a girl she walked around the schoolyard with, a girl she invited over to her house. I tried to get Rosemary to like me better than she liked Jean, but I was unsuccessful. Then fate intervened, Jean moved and I got my wish.
Read MoreFirst Love Sings for Her Alone - The Boston Herald
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He was the first man other than my father I ever loved. I would dress for him on Saturday nights while other children my age stayed outside enjoying the last rays of day…
Read MoreParenthood can be a burden or gift of love
/You wonder, sometimes. You walk around the mall and see a lovely young girl with pink cheeks and shiny eyes and a warm, trusting smile holding the hand of a skinny boy who struts a little because you'd strut, too, if someone looked at you the way she looks at him, and you sigh and think, isn't that nice? Isn't love grand?
And then you're waiting in line and there's another girl beside you. Not much older than the first, she is well-dressed, pretty still, but her brow is furrowed and a line, like stitches, divides her forehead. Her mouth droops as though invisible weights tug at the corners, though it is only a child, about 2, who tugs at her sleeve.
Age obsession spurs family wrinkle
/
For a month, I drove everyone crazy.
I'd be at a restaurant with my 15-year-old daughter listening to her talk about school and boys, TV and boys, cheering and boys - the usual discourse of 15-year-olds. And in the middle of a story I'd suddenly find that I wasn't listening to her anymore.
Read MoreBald men should brush aside hair myths
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As far as this baldness thing is concerned: Hey, you guys, you're being duped. Whoever told you that bald is unattractive? Whoever said that women lust less after men with shiny tops than those with bushy manes? Why are you so attached to dead cells that grow from holes in your head, that hang limp and lifeless and contribute nothing to your well-being anyway?
Read MoreMemories need to be shared as well as treasured
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"Tell me about the war, Dad?" I ventured, a long time ago when I was a child and needed a story to take to school.
"Were you scared? Did you think you might die?"
"Your father doesn't like to talk about the war," my mother scolded. "Run along and do your homework."
"But this is my homework " I protested.
Read MoreIf I want to be good, I have to practice
/
Every afternoon she races in from school, raids the refrigerator, then heads for the piano. "So how was your day?" I shout over Jimmy crack corn and I don't care. "Fine," she answers, distracted, immediately lost in the notes of a song she has been drumming on her desk and rehearsing in her head throughout the day. "How'd you do on your vocabulary test?" "We didn't have it. Wanna' hear me play Remington Steele?
Read MoreDeadly speed trap claims teen-agers
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Change the names and the date; the story is always the same. A boy who is upset is followed to his car by a girl. She tries to calm him down, gets in the front seat and winds up dead. Two teen-agers with fast cars drag to see whose souped-up engine is more powerful and never find out because they die trying. A young, inexperienced driver gets behind the wheel of a car built for speed, takes a corner too fast and…
Read MoreNobody will accept blame anymore
/Excuses, excuses. No one ever says "I was wrong" anymore. "It was my fault." No, it's always the other guy, always someone's else's mistake. You know what I mean?
Dinner arrives. It isn't what you ordered. So you call the waitress over and explain.
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